Don’t move


Back in the day when moving was simply an act of physical relocating your belongings from one place to another via moving company or by coercing friends with promises of pizza and beer for hauling your crap, life was easy. You set a date and a time. You methodically boxed up your vinyl albums, pots and pans and tchotchkes. You arrived at your new digs, reversed the equation, sat on your sofa and turned on the TV exhausted.

Those days are over.

Moving has always been a big business. I once dated an executive in the moving industry. The first time he walked into my home he told me that I was a moving company’s dream. Me not so much, I learned later. McMover quickly informed me that after heavy furniture, books are a heavy joy to behold because well, they’re heavy. I love my books. I love my books so much that each one has probably ended up costing me $100 each for all the times I’ve moved. Letting go of Women Who Run with the Wolves and other weighty tomes is difficult. A moving company will never discourage you from bringing them with you – ever.

But moving today is not about the furniture, clothing and pots and pans. It’s about all the time that gets wasted making the transition known to everyone and everything that is tethered to who you are. Ironically, two of the places most people loathe dealing with are also the easiest when it comes to moving; you can fill out a form with the U.S. Postal Service and change your driver’s license online. Dealing with your cable company, Internet provider or health insurance company is virtually impossible. The fact that they are both virtual by nature is an irony that is not lost on me.

I have spent more time on hold waiting to speak to a live agent over the past three days than I have over the course of my lifetime waiting in line to mail last-minute holiday packages. Online live-chat options are equally ridiculous. “You are number 327 in the queue and your wait time is approximately 1 hour, 19 minutes and 36 seconds,” is not an option at all.

Thank goodness I have unlimited minutes with Verizon. The wait time for them just exceeded two hours. Bottom line? Don’t make a move if you don’t have to. It’s a bigger waste of time than you think.

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