And the nominees are…


Who doesn’t love the movies? I admit it – I could sit through the entire Oscar broadcast, which, including the walk down the red carpet, is about five hours and ten minutes. Thank God for TiVo; I don’t have to miss a second while getting up for snacks and running for bathroom breaks.

This year Billy Crystal is hosting for his eighth time. Have you noticed that he’s starting to resemble the actual Oscar statue itself? Personally, I think they need someone a little edgier. Maybe it’s my snarky personality, but I like my award shows to have a little bite to them. These are the people who get paid obscene amounts of money for going to “work” that has to be more fun than summer camp.

Therefore, I suggest hosting your own Oscar party to get you through to the last 20 minutes, when they announce the biggies like Best Actress, Actor, Director and Picture – really, the only reason we’re watching anyway.

Tips for hosting your event:

  • Keep a good supply of beverages (the adult kind) on hand. People, this is a long night, and the Oscars can get a little boring, so you will need a few friends to provide at least half of the entertainment. You may want to invite some of your louder and more obnoxious friends, the kind who lose their filter after imbibing a few.
  • Avoid inviting people who take the Academy Awards too seriously – those who are going to shush you while you try to heckle Crystal, or tell jokes about how many times a certain celebrity has been married … like Liz Taylor, oh, which reminds me of one of my favorite moments of the night, “The Parade of the Dead.” Call me morbid, but I look forward to the little montage of photos of every celebrity, artist, musician and broadcaster who passed away. Not a year goes by that I don’t turn to my husband and exclaim with utter shock, “WHAT?! When did he die?”

So grab your popcorn, margaritas and a few obnoxious friends while we watch the self-obsessed lavish themselves with a few more accolades.

The 84th annual Academy Awards will be presented Feb 26 at 7 p.m. Eastern/4 p.m. Pacific on ABC.

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